As Time Goes On

I think I can finally say that the shrooms are out of my system. And have been for a few weeks, I just wanted to make sure thoroughly though.

We ended my first, and as of now only trip around 5am after dropping off everyone at their houses cause it was too damn hot and crowded in my room after the destruction we caused in there from tripping ballz. This was back in February bytheway. That morning after I got home I was so scared to fall asleep cause my trip was pretty dark and cynical. But like most every other experience for everyone else, the coming is just pure bliss. I’m sure I made a post awhile back of this, maybe not on this tumblr but I remember typing it somewhere. But just to recap is was dark and I died a lot, and people’s faces were melting, I punched my friend in the face, one girl didn’t have pants, and shit just got real with God and Lucifer.

That morning as I lay in my bed at 5am I just was so scared to fall asleep cause I thought I would fall right back into my trip, even though I was positive I was over the high when I drove everyone home. As time went on though my dreams were the greatest thing to ever happen to me. I lucid dream a lot but they were mediocre. After the shroom trip though, things were as vivid as.. well something that is very vivid. Before I would even begin the storyline of my dreams I could realize it was a dream. But it’s no fun to see what your brain has in store for you, I just make sure it doesn’t turn bad for me. I would let my sub-conscience drive the story, but if something happened that I didn’t like or wanted to happen differently I would just play it back like a movie-reel, literally my brain would stop it rewind and play it again till I liked every detail of it. It was really nice and soothing to have complete control over something in my life right now with all that I’ve been going through. 

So to list some overlying things that have been added to my dreaming experience:

  • Physics - dreamed I was a free pendulum swinging on a rope, the course was real and changing to the way I swung
  • Athleticism - Little dreaming fact for you: muscle memory translates into real-life from your dreams.
  • Awareness - my dreamworld now is everchanging so I have to keep up with things going on behind my back to make sure my dream doesn’t take a turn for the worse(vivid dreams like these are the most enjoyable but if turned to a nightmare are unstoppable, like real life we can lose grip and be blinded by fear)
  • Sondering - I try my best to keep track of a handful of characters in my dream who have their own agenda and background

Although I feel no more effects of the shrooms in my dream turning everything topsy-turvy it was nice to gain some of these after effects for myself. 

10/10 would shroom trip again.

That’s what it is all about.

I’ve learned a lot about myself the last few months of being out in California with no friends and barely seeing my family. Weeks of solitude, days where I wouldn’t utter a single word because I didn’t have to. 

I go to the market gathering all my things just to get by the next few weeks, talking to people I’ll never see again. Girls I’ll never see again ‘cause I don’t care enough to get a name or number. See that’s what I thought moving to California was all about; the beaches and the babes. I’ve been to the beach once. I only got my feet wet.

The ocean is a horrible fear of mine, not the beach, but the endless darkness of water. Standing at the edge of the water as the water and foam ripples over my feet I slowly but surely look up to see nothing but a red sun and my fears coming to fruition. No one beside me, no friends or family just a random assortment of moms and dogs and kids and surfers and teens living their life.

Marked my saddest trip to the beach, because well I had to visit the beach ‘cause that’s what California is about.